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What does it mean to love your
neighbor? When someone asked Jesus about this, he responded with a
story, about radical kindness—about a Samaritan who went out of his
way to care for someone who probably disliked him. Jesus gave the
example of a person who loved across ethnic and religious lines, who
helped someone who despised him. Jesus said loving your neighbor
sometimes means offering real help, even if it's inconvenient. It
means loving those who are different from you, even those who don’t
like you.
But if you live in the suburbs, among people who are not so
different from you, or people you feel you don’t even know, then
what? I’ve been thinking lately about how to live a life of
compassion and justice, and how to do it in the middle of a mostly
affluent suburb. Wondering if that is possible.
Some suburbanites don’t even know the people who live down the
street or in their apartment building. Loving their neighbors seems
an impossible goal when they don’t even know their neighbors’ names.
So, just learning their names might be a good place to start.
And the thing is, whether you live in the city or country, the
suburbs or an “ex-burb” (further out than suburbs but still not a
rural area), just learning who your neighbors are is not only a
pleasant thing to do, it’s something Scripture commands.
Jesus said the greatest commandment is to love God and love your
neighbor, and that in fact, these two things are inextricably
linked.
What does that look like in your life? Who are your neighbors? I
think co-workers, or the other parents from your kids’ soccer teams,
or the people who live on your block can all be neighbors.
This morning, I gathered with a group of moms from my neighborhood
at a coffee shop just down the street. We read the Bible (via my
book Oxygen), and talked about what it means in our lives.
People see us there every Wednesday and have begun to ask who we are
and what we’re doing, even asked us to pray for them. How cool is
that! The coffee shop owners, Glen and Terry, are Christians and
they greet me by name when I come in.
I’ve known these women for years, as we’ve been in carpools, Bunco
groups, PTA meetings together. But the relationships have gone a
step deeper as a result of simply acknowledging and cultivating our
spiritual connection as well.
As I write this, I’m caring for one of my neighbors, a friend’s
daughter. I’m going to take her to school later, but since she was
home sick yesterday, her dad asked if I could take her in after
lunch. So she’s lying on the couch in my living room for a while,
until I can take her over to school. This family and ours have
raised our children together—we’ve been doing this sort of thing for
each other since the kids were born. The mom is traveling on
business, the dad had to go to work after he was home with their
daughter yesterday. Her sitter couldn't stay all morning. So I
agreed to keep her for an hour or two until she could go to school
(once she’d been on her antibiotics for 24 hours). I’ll feed her
some chicken soup, get her to school—it’s a small thing and I know
they’d do the same for me if I asked.
Both of these are ways I love my neighbors. While I can’t always say
yes to everything (and should not), I try to intentionally engage in
the Christian practice of hospitality. Hospitality is not Martha
Stewart style entertaining, but rather, extending ourselves on
behalf of others. It does not mean throwing a dinner party, with the
intention of impressing people. Glen and Terry, even though they are
running a business, have made their coffee shop a hospitable place,
one that offers a peaceful respite, and a place for community to
happen.
Romans 12: 11-13 says, “Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your
spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in
affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in
need. Practice hospitality.”
Keeping your spiritual fervor in the beige and easy world of the
suburbs is a challenge. The very convenience of our lives prevents
us from having to truly trust God. These verses offer us some
practices that will keep that zeal, from prayer to hospitality.
Helping a friend with child care is hospitality. A caveat: If you
are the type that everyone takes advantage of in the childcare
department, i.e., you always watch everyone else’s children, that’s
not hospitality—it’s letting others take advantage of you, which is
not what I am recommending. And if you are the type that always
sends your kids to other people and never reciprocates, that’s just
wrong. Strive for balance in this area.
“The chief antidote to suburban anonymity and isolationism may well
be the Christian practice of hospitality. Hospitality can be a
profoundly prophetic, countercultural activity that helps us escape
our cocoons, connect with our neighbors and minister to our
communities,” writes Al Hsu in his book The Suburban Christian.
“Despite all the challenges and pressure of suburban life, the route
to recovering a deeper sense of community is as basic as ‘love your
neighbor.’ The principle may seem simplistic, but living it out in
our suburban context will necessarily be as complex, varied and
unique as each of us. We can come to see every interaction with
neighbors, merchants and strangers as an opportunity to extend
hospitality and welcome others in the name of Christ.”
How can you “welcome others in the name of Christ” in your
neighborhood?
 Death
by Suburb: How to Keep the Suburbs
from Killing Your Soul.
by David Goetz
Harper One
$13.95
Amazon Price: $3.70
With self-deprecating humor and honesty, Goetz takes a look at life
in the suburbs, and how the competitiveness, even the “safety” of
the suburbs keeps us isolated not only from each other, but from
Jesus.
“I think my suburb, as safe and religiously coated as it is, keeps
me from Jesus,” he writes. “or at least, my suburb (and the religion
of the suburbs) obscures the real Jesus. The living patterns for the
good life affect me more than I know. Yet the same environmental
factors that numb me to the things of God also hold out great
promise. I don’t need to escape the suburbs. I need to find Jesus
here.”
His book offers eight spiritual practices for suburbanites, to help
us keep our souls alive: things like staying at your church instead
of shopping for a new church every two years, or choosing to look at
and relate to those who have less than you, rather than coveting the
things of those who have more.
The book does not, thankfully, offer easy answers. Goetz is honest
about his own struggles, about the fact that he is very much in
process on all of these things. He’s honest in his assessment of the
suburbs, but also about the fact that he still lives there. He
offers readers some specific ways to look more objectively at the
suburban life and grow closer to Jesus in spite of it.
For reviews of the latest books in Christian Publishing visit
www.bookbargainsandpreviews.com
“How do I free myself from the
invisible Alcatraz of the suburbs? There’s no greater bondage
than living only for what I don’t yet have and for the evasive
approval of people who, frankly, I don’t really know or care
about and who will always have just a little more than I.”
~Dave Goetz,
Death by Suburb |
How does the place you’ve chosen to
live affect your soul? Does the consumerist and competitive mindset
affect the people in your neighborhood (including, of course, you)?
What, specifically, do you want to do in the next month to show
hospitality to your neighbors?
Speaking
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Keri will lead two
workshops at Willow Creek’s Children’s Ministries “Conspire”
conference, on April 24 at the church, in South Barrington, IL. You
must register for the conference in order to attend her workshops:
“Spiritual Life: Breathe” and “Spiritual Life: Listen.” Go to
www.ConspireConference.com for registration info.
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Keri will lead a “Soul
Oxygen” retreat for First Wesleyan Church in Battle Creek Michigan.
The retreat will be held at Gull Lake Conference Center in Hickory
Corners, MI. For details contact the church at
www.firstwes.org.
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If you are interested in
having Keri speak at an event or retreat, you can go to
www.keriwyattkent.com and
click on the link to speaking. Keri is currently accepting speaking
engagements for November 2008 and beyond.
Web
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Check out Keri’s blog,
Deep Breathing for the Soul, at
www.keriwyattkent.blogspot.com You can read Keri’s latest
musings on the connection between faith and real life, you can post
a question about any of her books or other writings.
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Keri posts each Thursday
on
www.boomerbabesrock.com/blog. She writes about faith, family and
fun on this site dedicated to women of the baby boom generation.
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If you are a parent or
work with kids, and feel like you are always pouring out, click over
to Keri’s “For Your Soul” column
http://www.christianitytoday.com/childrensministry/articles/
and get filled up. This column, written for those who minister to
children, will give you encouragement and practical help with
nurturing your own soul.
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April 2008
Connecting with
Keri Wyatt Kent
Check Out
Keri's New Blog
Deep Breathing for the Soul
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Oxygen:
Keri's new book!
Keri Wyatt Kent's newest book is titled
Oxygen: Breathing for Your Soul.
"Breathe"
In Breathe:
Creating Space for God in a Hectic Life, Keri looks at how the
hurried pace of our lives affects us spiritually.
Connect with Keri in Person
click here to see my speaking schedule
Visit
Keri Wyatt Kent's Website
Visit MOPS
Contact Keri |
