Heart to Heart from Cheri

Until I was in my 40’s I didn’t buy decorations marked down 75% off on the day after Christmas (even though all my friends did), because it just didn’t make sense to me. Since a number of people including my father and a close friend my age had died when I was young, I’d lived with a sense of the brevity of life as long as I can remember.

That’s why I was so struck recently by an article on longevity. It told of a number of research studies in both the U.S. and around the world that showed how long your parents and relatives lived only has a 3% influence on your lifespan.

That may not sound like landmark information to you, but it really got me thinking.  Having had key family members die in our early life, my siblings and I had lived unconsciously with the expectation that our lives too may be cut short.  Comments like, “Well, we won’t have to worry about being in a nursing home” when we pass by one had caused our niece to refer to us as “morbid” on more than one occasion.

But for several decades, the prevailing opinion of the medical community had been just like ours: that one’s longevity was determined primarily by how long your parents and other relatives lived.  Not so, say experts who study aging and longevity. How long we live is not just in our genetic makeup.

While there are many traits that are inherited—such as height, ADHD, weight, intelligence, and personality, life span is at the very bottom of the list of heritable qualities. Family history is the least likely to influence how long you live, while lifestyle issues like nutrition, mental stimulation, and exercise have a bigger impact.

Good news for us! Even though our father died at age 47, Mama in her late 50’s, our aunts died in their 40’s, and our sister just passed away, we can live with more optimism about our lifespan. 

The truth is, no matter how long our parents or siblings lived - from 45 to 92 or anywhere in between, there are some things I’ve discovered that we can ponder:

~ That the promises and truths of the Bible give us perspective on the issues of life and guidance on how to spend our time while we’re on planet earth, like Psalm 139:10 (The Message), that all the stages of our lives were spread out before God, the days of our life all prepared before we’d even lived one day.  That God will fulfill His purpose and accomplish that which concerns me and you. That we’re to “make the most of our time” (Psalm 90:12) so that we may grow in wisdom.  And along the way, “make the most of every opportunity for doing good” (Ephesians 5:16).

~ That no matter how many days or years we have, every day is a gift. Our challenge is to redeem the time by celebrating the gift of life and being grateful for the moments we have with family and friends in the midst of daily hassles and problems.

~ And that it’s not the length of days but the depth of our living; it’s not just what we get out of our time on earth but what we give to others that counts.  That instead of living life as if it were a dress rehearsal or putting off joy, we learn to live in the present moment and take time to reflect on the miracle of life, the gift of children if they are in your life, the gift of friends, of family, of red & gold leaves and cooler weather,  the promise of a bright future filled with hope (Jeremiah 29:11)…and those after-Christmas sales.  See you there!

 

Quotes to Ponder

Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.

                           --Frederick Buechner

 

If you want to keep your kids out of prison, bless them.  The blessing always involves a hug and a kiss. Not the kiss of abuse but of blessing. There’s a vast difference! “I love you, I bless you, I think you’re terrific, and I’m so glad you’re mine.” It’s got to be said out loud. It’s got to be stated. The blessing is unconditional and it’s continuous in order to be a real blessing—in order to be real love.

                                              --Bill Glass, former NFL Pro

Parents Toolbox: Positive Connections with Your Kids’ Teachers

Here are some easy ways that are not time-intensive but pack lots of power for building a good relationship with your children’s teachers:

• Express thanks.  Send a thank-you note to the teacher for something she/he’s done that has benefited your child this year.
   

• Sooner rather than later. Make an appointment to meet and talk with the teacher if you’re concerned about your child’s reading, math or you have any other concern. Waiting often makes the problem worse, but brainstorming together can produce a solution so your child can progress and stay encouraged throughout the school year.
   

• Share your talents. Find some way to be involved and contribute your skills or gifts to the school or classroom. If you’re already overloaded, don’t commit to a regular activity that will bring burnout, but even a few hours each semester doing something, such as: planting bulbs around the entrance, tutoring kids in reading, or helping in another way makes a difference.
   

• Bottom line: Build a relationship before there’s a problem, thus getting the fire engine before the fire!

 

Book & Movie Reviews

Embrace Grace:  Welcome to the Forgiven Life
By Liz Curtis Higgs

“Wherever you are spiritually, whatever you have been through emotionally, you are already enfolded in the arms of One who believes in you, supports you, treasures you.

He is waiting for you to embrace him in return. To accept the gift he’s offering you. To listen for the whispered words you’ve longed a lifetime to hear: You are loved. All is forgiven,” says Liz Curtis Higgs in the beginning of her book Embrace Grace.

As Liz shares her own compelling story of how God reached out to her after a decade of sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll, how she embraced grace and forgiveness and began to be transformed, she warmly invites the reader to journey along the path from doubt to grace, from shame to forgiveness and freedom, from hurt to joyful restoration and a whole new life

“A woman who embraces grace with both arms, who stops fretting over her sins and begins focusing on her Savior, who dries her tears so she can see others who are hurting—oh, this is some kind of woman,” says Liz. “The kind who can turn the world right side up…Whoever, wherever, God has plans for you.”

Filled with hope, exuding grace, this is a book you’ll want to read and share with others.

Recommended Resources

Great Small Group Resource
Questions included in book and a guide will be available
on Cheri's Website at www.cherifuller.com