Heart to Heart with Cheri Fuller

Perhaps one of the most powerful prayers I have seen God answer is one I learned from a woman whose marriage story I share in my upcoming new book, Loving Your Spouse Through Prayer: How to Pray God’s Word Into Your Marriage  (Feb. 6, Integrity/Nelson).

Jan’s husband betrayed her in an affair with another woman and broke her heart after over twenty-five years of marriage. She could have become bitter and let unforgiveness freeze her heart and spiritual growth, but in the midst of her pain, a wise Christian counselor advised her to pray this prayer:  “Lord, help me to see my husband through Your eyes, to love Jack as you love him, and to value him as you value him.”

When she hurt to the core, she remembered the prayer. Through her tears she asked, “Lord, help me to see Jack as you see him, love him as you love him, and value him as you value him.”  She prayed it often, month after month, though her husband’s infidelity persisted. When he finally moved out and they divorced many months later, she was deeply lonely. Her prayer continued. “Lord, help me love Jack as you love him.” Slowly but surely, through the months and years of praying for the husband and for the grace to love him as God did, forgiveness came.
As she prayed, “God, help me to love him with your love,” he reminded her how he loved Jack and had died for him. When she thought about, “How does God really see Jack?” she saw Jack as a person who had worth and value even if he’d made some seriously bad choices. As a man who had lost his way, and been entrapped by sin.

Although she was dying on the inside, as those petitions went heavenward, her love for her husband increased and bitterness had no chance to get lodged in her soul. As she drew close to God and leaned on him, she saw things differently and found new hope even when the situation didn’t change and there was no sign of restoration or return.

As the second and third year passed, Jan went through a season of thinking she couldn’t possibly go on.  “God, I can hardly stand this; it’s hurting me so much,” she said one morning.

Suddenly he gave her a word picture she hadn’t seen or thought of in years. A woman sat down to do some writing and saw a little cocoon outside her window. Each day she looked at that cocoon and still nothing had emerged. Impatient, the woman decided to cut the cocoon a wee little bit. Something came out, but it wasn’t what she expected. I was the shriveled body of the butterfly, whose wings were so weak and underdeveloped, it couldn’t flap them. In an hour the little creature died.
God broke through that metaphor to say, “I know it’s dark and lonely, but trust me. It’s not time yet.”

Hearing those few words from God helped her persevere.  Six years after the day she first learned of her husband’s affair, Jan and Jack stood before family and friends in their home to be reunited in marriage. “I want to be the first to speak,” Jack said. “I turned my back on God and my family, but they never turned their backs on me. When I left home, none of you left me out of your prayers. I want to thank you all. I have asked my God for forgiveness, my dear wife for forgiveness, and my children for forgiveness. They have all forgiven me. I thank God that I’m getting a second chance today to marry the girl I love.”

“I told Mom to get on with her life,” their daughter said. “How thankful I am that she never listened to me!”  A son expressed his happiness for their remarriage and for answered prayer. 

Jan spoke last and said, “I have the opportunity to marry the man I have always loved.”  This couple has spent many years since their second wedding enjoying grandchildren, travel, and life together. But it doesn’t just apply to marriage. Did you know this prayer is effective and valuable whether the person who has hurt you is your husband, a teenager, a friend or family member?

Although there is much more to Jan and Jack’s compelling story which I relate in the book, the principle remains: Prayer gets us out of our own selfish “meet my needs” mentality and into truly experiencing the love of God for our husband. Not trying to change him, not resenting him, or lecturing him about being a better person or spiritual leader, but loving him.

I have also found that this prayer particularly helps us see our spouse or “sandpaper person” (any person in our life, old or young, no matter how crazy we are about them) with God’s eyes and value him or her in a different way than we could on our own efforts—which is helpful for any relationship.

Dear Readers, may you in this coming year experience God’s unfailing love for you more deeply, express His love to others, and connect in meaningful, real ways with those in your family and circle of friends. Because He lives, we can face tomorrow, friends!
 

Quotes to Ponder

“Prayer provides the primary language for everything that takes place in the way of Jesus. If we go to a shopping mall in North America, we speak English to get what we want. If we go to a restaurant in France, we speak French in order to order our meal...And when we become personally involved with Jesus, we pray. We pray because it is the only language we have for speaking to the God revealed in Jesus. It is also the only language we have for listening to the commands and blessings and guidance that God provides in Jesus…Prayer is the street language that we use with Jesus as he walks the streets with us. We can’t put off prayer until we “get good at it.” It is the only language available to us as we bring our unique and particular selves, ‘just as we are without one plea,’ into daily, hourly conversation with God, who comes ‘just as he is’ in Jesus.”
                                    --Eugene Peterson, A Year With Jesus


“ To pray is nothing more involved than to lie in the sunshine of His grace, to expose our distress of body and soul to those healing rays which can in a wonderful way counteract and render ineffective the bacteria of sin. To be a man or woman of prayer is to take this sun-cure, to give Jesus, with His wonder-working power, access to our distress night and day.”
                                            --O. Hallesby, Prayer

             


Marriage Toolbox

A Great Prayer for Your Spouse From Psalm 1

Lord, by your Spirit, draw us to the river of your love. Cause our roots to go deep into your streams of water. Give us the desire to read your word, to ponder and obey it, and to delight in doing what would honor and please you. And for the fruit that is borne in the year ahead, we will give you all the glory! In Christ’s name, amen.

Book & Movie Reviews

Prayer
By O. Hallesby
$7.99

One of my all-time favorite books on prayer and most treasured books in my library was originally published in 1931 and was authored by Ole Hallesby, a Norwegian teacher and pastor. I have found myself going back and back to this classic for years because it never fails to inspire and encourage my heart about the great gift of prayer. It is full of hope, revelation and insight into the real purpose, meaning, and practice of prayer. Hallesby understood the deep things of prayer and had a gift for expressing them with simplicity and clarity.

For example, defining prayer he says, “To pray is to let Jesus come into our hearts. To pray is nothing more involved than to open the door, giving Jesus access to our needs and permitting him to exercise His own power in dealing with them. To pray is to let Jesus glorify His name in the midst of our need…Prayer is the breath of the soul, the organ by which we receive Christ in our parched and withered hearts…God has designed prayer as a means of intimate and joyous fellowship between God and humankind.”

Do you struggle with problems in your personal life? Is your prayer life stale or crowded out by busyness or discouragement? Read this classic which contains truths just as timely as it was when it was first published. Hallesby’s teaching in this paperback treasure will flood your soul with light and renew your desire to connect with God through prayer.

You can purchase this book for $7.99 by using our special order form.

Recommended Resource

Loving Your Spouse Through Prayer: How to Pray God’s Word Into Your Marriage
Praying together as a couple, and praying for your mate, is the mortar in a marriage—a way for a couple to turn toward each other rather than away from each other. It also invites God’s love into the relationship. Pre-order this book (street date 2/07) at PC Publications for $13.99, which includes shipping.

The One Year Book of Praying Through the Bible
Makes a great Christmas gift and enables readers to experience the power of God's Word and prayer each day.
Purchase at PC Publications for $12.99, which includes shipping,