Heart to Heart with Cheri

Happy winter day, dear readers! It is snowing here in Dallas, Texas—a rare occurrence, and even though the stores are full of lightweight spring clothes, we have a ways to go until warm weather arrives. So curl up in a comfy chair and let me share a story with you from my new book, Loving Your Spouse Through Prayer.

Marie raced into the house, put down the grocery bags, and sat down to get her breath. Seven months pregnant, she felt like a great, big, pink Titanic. She was crazy busy as a full-time event planner, a wife whose husband traveled out of the country half the time, and a mother to two active grade-school boys.

On the outside, this capable wife looked like she was handling everything: the event she was planning for former President Bush, the cookies for the school party, getting her boys to soccer on time. But on the inside, her heart raced just thinking about her schedule for that month, much less the family’s upcoming move to Colorado and having a baby they hadn’t planned while keeping up with her third-grader and fifth-grader’s needs. Every night she fell into bed with a longer to-do list than she had when she got up.

She didn’t want to burden her husband, Brad; he had enough on his plate and was leaving soon on another overseas business trip. When she was alone and the rest of the family was asleep, the inner conversations would begin: I failed everybody again today. Everything was done less well than it deserved to be accomplished. The job got short shrift; the kids did too. And Brad . . . He gets the crumbs; forget about me.
But nobody cares and nobody notices.

Day after day, it seemed her best just wasn’t enough. That’s why she was so anxious about this pregnancy. This poor baby, I won’t have one more ounce of energy for it, she thought one day, unpacking the grocery bags and putting things away.

“When’s dinner, Mom?” her older son yelled as he ran up the stairs.
“About thirty minutes!” she answered, bustling around the kitchen preparing stir-fry and setting the table. Though it was her birthday, she wasn’t expecting anything. Her husband was a dear, loving guy, but not too good at remembering things like birthdays and anniversaries. After fifteen years together (and a bunch of missed birthdays and anniversaries), she’d lowered her expectations to avoid another disappointment. Dinner and helping with the boys’ homework as usual—that was the way it would be tonight too.

Twenty minutes later, Brad came in the door and the family gathered around the table for dinner. As Marie began picking up the dishes to put them in the sink, Brad said, “Honey, I want you to come in the living room with me and sit in the blue chair.” When their boys started out to the basketball goal he said, “You guys come too.”

Once there, he placed a wrapped package in her lap and then did something that amazed her. With their sons looking on, he laid his hands on her shoulders and began to pray Proverbs 31 over his wife, thanking God for her as he personalized the passage with her name:
Lord, thank you for my wife who’s of such noble character and is worth more than rubies or anything else.

As her husband, I have full confidence in Marie,
And because of her I lack nothing of value.
Thank you that she brings me good, not harm,
All the days of her life . . .
And gets up day after day, providing food for our family . . .
And sets about her work vigorously.
She’s clothed with strength and dignity;
She can laugh at the days to come.
How grateful we are that Marie speaks with wisdom,
And watches over the affairs of our household…

By the time Brad got to “Marie’s children rise up and call her blessed; I do also, and I praise her” (v. 28), she was crying the happiest of tears. As he prayed those words over her and thanked God for his wife, courage and joy welled up within Marie and fears dissolved. Those prayers made her feel more appreciated and loved than any gift he could have bought in a store. Not even jewelry, and she loved jewelry.

Brad wasn’t big on praying aloud, so it meant even more. Through the gift of God’s Word he prayed into Marie’s life, he conveyed, “You are up to the challenge; you’re not a failure. You are the love of my life.” Nothing could have been more romantic to her. Nothing could have shown their sons more how their dad valued their mom as a woman, a mother, a faithful wife, and a productive and creative person.

And the package that sat in her lap? As lovely as it was, she doesn’t even remember what was inside. But she’s never forgotten how loved she felt when God’s Word was prayed over her that night.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day when we all think about love, loving our husband, wife, or fiancée with just the right love language he or she will really “get” how much we love them. In the midst of flowers, candy and surprises (I love them all!), let me encourage you to give a gift which will last far beyond the season—love your spouse through prayer.

Prayer is the most powerful love language of all. When you pray for your spouse, you are bringing blessings, favor, and grace into his life. God’s boundless love will be shed abroad in your heart and released so it will show and flow through your life. Even at a simple mealtime prayer, when you thank God in some specific way for him, it’s a blessing. As you pray for your marriage & spouse, you’ll find your own heart most changed and you’ll be a catalyst for wonderful transformation and newness.

 

Quotes to Ponder

The Lord loves you, devotedly and individually, loves you just as you are…Accustom yourself to the wonderful thought that God loves you with a tenderness, a generosity, and an intimacy that surpasses all your dreams. Give yourself up with joy to a loving confidence in God and courage to believe firmly that God’s action toward you is a masterpiece of love.

                        --Abbe Henri de Tourville (1842-1903)

 

God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.

                        --St. Augustine

 

             


Marriage Toolbox

29 Things I Love about . . .

A fresh approach to a Valentine card is to write on bordered paper a list of things you appreciate about your spouse. For instance, if you’ve been married to Dan for twelve years, you’d create a list called “12Things I Love about Dan.” It gets a little more challenging the longer you’ve been together, but is a great way to stir up your own sense of gratitude for your mate and to express it in a memorable way.

Book & Movie Reviews

How to Say No...and Live to Tell About It
By Mary Byers
$10.99

Ever feel like you’re burned out? You’ve said “YES” too many times to countless commitments and now are finding time runs out before your day is done. You long for downtime but your To Do list is way too long to even consider it?  Then you’ll love Mary Byers’ new book How to Say No…and live to tell about it: A Woman’s Guide to Guilt-Free Decisions (Harvest House).  A former yesaholic, Mary draws on her story and the lives of other women and offers doable ideas in chapters like “The No Myth,” “Just Say No,” “Say No to Fatigue” (to Debt—to the Media are focused on in other chapters). She tackles the should’s, guilt, and busyness that ensnare us, includes creative ways to get out of the people-pleasing syndrome. To top it all off, the book has a handy list of the “Top Ten Ways to Say No Without Using ‘No’.” (You may want to copy and post it by your phone).  

Rather than a negative book, Mary helps you identify the best use of your days   and have time for the things that make your heart sing, enjoy using your talents more and pursue  a sense of balance in the midst of the fast-forward world we live in.

You can purchase this book for $10.99, which includes shipping by using this form.

Recommended Resource

Loving Your Spouse Through Prayer: How to Pray God’s Word Into Your Marriage
Praying together as a couple, and praying for your mate, is the mortar in a marriage—a way for a couple to turn toward each other rather than away from each other. It also invites God’s love into the relationship. Pre-order this book (street date 2/07) at PC Publications for $13.99, which includes shipping.

 

The One Year Book of Praying Through the Bible
Makes a great Christmas gift and enables readers to experience the power of God's Word and prayer each day.
Purchase at PC Publications for $12.99, which includes shipping,